so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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