I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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