Pappa wants mamma naked
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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