I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
