$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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