I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
