Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
