i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
True strength comes from lack of pants
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
