He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
