i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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