Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
