so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
