i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize