Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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