so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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