I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
