just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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