two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
