is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
