Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
