..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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