We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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