that's an acceptable place to lick
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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