Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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