dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
pop tarts are not kleenex
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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