Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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