Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize