Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
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and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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