Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just cropdusted the office
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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