...so i touched it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize