There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
