Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
its liver damage thursday
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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