i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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