Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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