I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
