she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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