So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
