Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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