They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
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WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
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I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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