Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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