This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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