I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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