butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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