I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
