My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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