It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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