I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
