Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
