I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
