Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Randomize
