just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
