this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
