in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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