problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
