If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
A bitchslap is in order.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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