You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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