hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
