I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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