I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
