my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
