no, he came in my armpit
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
