my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
